wednesday she calls me to find out about s9 soccer game time and location. I knew what she wanted to ask, but she couldnt bring herself to ask me to pick her up. Instead she sounds all sad and says, "i will try my best to get to the game."
Surprise surprise, she doesnt show up at the game. I got to deal with my s9 and his anger for her not being there. She has missed 3 out of his last 4 games. He was really upset, mind you, he played awesome.
Today she calls me to remind me that d7 team pictures were tonight. Then she says she only has 1 option to make it to her visit tonight. i said and what is that. She says OM. But she doesnt really want OM around the children. I said why not? your choice was to stay with him. To which she replied, cause i dont know what i want, I dont think i can live in my husbands house and date someone else. I cant be single for the next 11 years. I just said whatever, im sick of the puppet dance, im tired of her putting mine and the kids lives in turmoil.
she then asks me to pick her up, its either i do it or the OM will bring her and once again, she doesnt want OM around the kids. I asked why, she replied, "i just dont think its what the kids need."
So me being the idiot i am i picked her up. When i did, i told her the following. First i will give a recap of what she wants from me. To allow her to live at the house, Forgive the last 14 months worth of child support. Remove my case from the FaMILY rESPONSIBILITY OFFICE, this allows her to get her license back. Provide her with a car, and i get the pleasure of her living at home and my kids being happy.
Here is where i took a hugh slide backwards. I told her my feelings, that i was able to live with her in the house and still hang on to my beliefs that someday, wether it be 2 months, 2 years of 10 years we will be able to work on our marriage and be happy. That was my ultimate goal. so i gave her 3 options, and i gave her till the end of the weekend to make a decision.
option #1: she moves home to help raise the children and continues to have her separate private life. Nothing changes between us, we are still separated and she gets nothing from me.
option #2: She moves home, we go to a marriage counsellor and see if we can work on us. As we progress with that course of action, she gets all the benefits of being my wife aka, license, car etc.
option #3: she doesnt come home, we finalize the divorce and we sell the house and we are out of each others lives except where it pertains to our children. I do no more favors for her, and as the judge said, if she wants to see her kids, its her responsiblity to pick them up and return them on time for all visits.
So i guess i lost my cool a little, told her a little too much on how i feel. I amn kicking myself for this, but i have all weekend to show her what she is missing. Its her weekend and she is taking full advantage of my giving in to her and she is staying at the house.
I need some strength from all you guys, its quite obvious that i just dont have the will power to deal with her.
