25 I hope you recover well, it says alot about you and your willingness to help a hard head like me:
So about the money issue, not its not court ordered , however we have had a signed agreement for about a month..Nothing really changed in the written agreement other than it is now official. I started out being angry about giving her money and her using it for the OM,,,,petty stuff I am sure of like washing his dirty laundry with the very soap powder I provide....We had a joint account and I opened one of my own and just put money in every two weeks.. When we got to mediation about the agreement she opened up her own account, that I have absolutely no access to, other than walking in the branch and asking them to deposit the check....When she asked me why I did not put it in the bank I was pissed, how can a woman who says she does not want me to have any control of her...get mad at me for not putting a check in the bank at 7pm at night, knowing full well I don't have acces. And this is by her choice.....
What I mena about being angry at giving her money, I know and willingly give a good amount each month....but when she takes off of work to be with the OM and then asks me for money I get pissed. I don't have the luxury of doing this....This woman knows how much it takes to run a family of 7, or at least she did....So yes I get angry because she wanted this and is not pulling her fair share....
Let me respond to you about the no contact.....I just blocked her phone number, I have four teenagers that I provide phones for and they still text me or talk to me often.....I will never cut them off.
Now for the hard part....I was not the best husband and near the end there was alot of screaming and yelling mostly on my part...My girls saw almost all of this.....Being homeschooled by there mother and doing things with her while I was working....right now they have her back and I mean her full back....they talk to me but really don't want to see me that often...and that hurts...it also makes me angry as hell.....I feel that my M is about over...so I have asked my W to forgive me...It seems like everytime we interact she brings up something of the past...We argue about it and the girls must hear it...So they associate me with there mother being upset...They completely think that its 100% my fault....So I have asked or begged my W to forgive and help me get back to my girls.....I have told her, I have given you what you want so why rehash everything...she has no answer....
That is why I want to know does a WAS keep the resentment and anger fresh in there mind on a daily basis...so that they justify there decisions they are maiking..
