“100% disagreement w/^^^ for numerous previously stated reasons.”
Really 25??? None of it?
“You don't get it and you won't.”
Oh I get it 25, it’s about saving people. You think you have all the answers. You don’t. Go back and read some of your responses. IMO they belong in some utopian world.
“but you are an angry man who confuses pride with self respect and disguises his anger”
Not angry 25… Realistic! Passionate! Am I pridful? Sure I am. Do you want a man without pride or self respect? HE CAUGHT OM ON THE TOILET.
“w/pseudo insights about consequences”
REALLY? I should have married you 25, because than I would get away with anything I wanted. No consequences for anything I choose to do… Utopia again… There are consequences in life.
“which DB says LIFE TEACHES, NOT US...”
There ARE consequences for bad behavior 25. You’re a lawyer. Did you learn nothing in law school? If a person murders (behavior) they get put to death (consequence). Hey, instead of putting them to death or sending them to jail let’s let “life” teach them… Utopia? I think so…
“but you do NOT do DB (have you even read the book?)”
I own it and read It many times. It’s a great GUIDE. I don’t follow it word for word. But it’s a great TOOL. I don’t even follow the bible word for word.
“You do what you want and come here and preach an approach uniquely your own...”
No, but I will infuse my opinion. Don’t you? And what I think is the best course of action.
“and you like to punish self righteously”
Maybe, but that’s something I need to work on.
and see things in black & white. That's Not attractive or helpful.
I see SOME things in black and white. Not all things 25. IMO, any man worth his weight has SOME convictions. I am no different 25. Do I see gray in Denvers sitch? Yup! But not when it comes to OM in W home. She was not honest with him. I understand Denver sees a lot of gray in that sitch (“we were not together”, “we lived in separate homes”) and that’s fine. But I don’t have to see gray in that sitch just because Denver does. But I do respect his grayness on the subject.
“I don't care if your w or your punitive friend's wife come home in lieu of starving on the street”
Useless blather 25. You sound angry…
“and then your friend can claim he "won"...and you'll smugly say your approach”
He lost 25. He lost his family. I am merely pointing out that a WAS can’t have it both ways and there are consequences for the poor choices they make. Is that so bad?
"worked" and your "marriage reconciled" b/c of shame or financial extortion”
Truth be told 25, it was not financial extortion. She was going to leave. And half of everything liquidates down to about 400K. She would have had that plus about $3500.00/month support. She would have been fine. He!!, it would have been me that needed money. You can down play my DB’ing all you want but it did work. I have not talked about our M/R in more than 6 months. I stopped the day we were in MC and W told me she felt smothered. Even SHE apologizes for her treatment of us every day.
“instead of lovingly working on things...you still say you have no regrets about how you treated your wife”
I am more loving than you think 25. Am I Perfect? No. And I regret that I became indifferent and cold to her after marriage year 14.
“yet you also say you "own" your mistakes...well which is it?”
A bit of both 25. There IS gray in life you know.
“You sound like a bully”
Not at all.
“and that's probably why you come here to post against all that others are supporting Denver with,
instead of on your own thread.”
I support Denver too. My approach is different than yours. I don’t have my own thread because it’s not what I need right now. If I do need support, I will post my own.
“Read the DB book and decide if you want to follow the philosophy it espouses...”
I have read DB. I will use it as a GUIDE, not as law. And I will stop posting to Denvers thread if he asks me to.
“if not, leave.”
Who do you think you are 25? My wife? Now who’s the bully?
“THis isn't the place for INSISTING ON other approaches.”
Not insisting… Giving advice. And with passion…
Have a great day today all…
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Now who’s the bully?
