Hey there Denver, I just need to make a few short points FWIW...
1. Just a few short weeks ago you caught OM on the toilet in W bedroom watching and/or taking care of SS. Not long after that you wish her a heart felt HAPPY ANNIVERSARY???
I ask you this my friend... Would YOU respect any person that did the same thing? You W does anything she wants and good 'ol Denver is there with live and support not long after. Not attractive at all. I don't say this to hurt you my friend. I really want you to have your wife/family back.
2. A few days back I made the following comment.....
"There are consequences for bad behavior"
And you said....
"How would punishing W help my sitch?"
Not punishing Denver, consequences!!!
Like...
NOT being there for your W financially or emotionally when she needs you...
AT LEAST FOR NOW!!!
Listen, I have a friend newly divorced. He too tried to save his marriage before D day. He was unsuccessful...
Now she is angry cause she has no money, no support, and no help... My friend will do nothing more than pay what the courts ordered and not a penny more. SHE IS ANGRY AT HIM DENVER CAUSE SHE FEELS HE SHOUL DO MORE!!!
His response...
"Why should I, she choose to leave. If she needs help she has a family. She can ask them. She CHOOSE not to have me as family. I owe her nothing."
And you know something Denver... He's RIGHT!!!
Consequences Denver, NOT PUNISHMENT...
Get it?
Good luck my friend...
100% disagreement w/^^^ for numerous previously stated reasons.
You don't get it and you won't.
Not to say I agree with Denver's approach on the anniversary
but you are an angry man who confuses pride with self respect and disguises his anger w/pseudo insights about consequences, which DB says LIFE TEACHES, NOT US...
but you do NOT do DB (have you even read the book?)
You do what you want and come here and preach an approach uniquely your own...
and you like to punish self righteously
and see things in black & white. That's Not attractive or helpful.
I don't care if your w or your punitive friend's wife come home in lieu of starving on the street
and then your friend can claim he "won"...and you'll smugly say your approach
"worked" and your "marriage reconciled" b/c of shame or financial extortion
instead of lovingly working on things...you still say you have no regrets about how you treated your wife
yet you also say you "own" your mistakes...well which is it?
You sound like a bully
and that's probably why you come here to post against all that others are supporting Denver with,
instead of on your own thread.
Read the DB book and decide if you want to follow the philosophy it espouses...if not, leave.
THis isn't the place for INSISTING ON other approaches.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
