Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

Its been a long time since I have posted here in MLC, having been posting over in piecing for a while. Not that I felt we were piecing, but because of our situation - where H acknowledged that we were going to continue being a married couple, although he did not commit to working on us, but I felt that somehow we were inching towards piecing.

Problem is the MLC thing really still is ahold of him. Lately, he again seems to be feeling the "pressure" from me, and honestly, its my fault. I know the rules (no calling, give him space, no pursuing) but.... its hard not to do those when somehow, things are getting encouraging at home. No wonder there is such a phenomenon as pulling back.

So he was so nice to me for more than a month - giving m a mothers day gift, bringing me to Vegas, just the two of us, for what seemed like a "date" weekend, then when I left to visit my home country, he meets up with OW. Granted, he told me that I should not think there was anything going on any longer, and that he would not do anything to "disrespect" me. Funny, but I do believe him. Although I can see him desperately trying to keep some contact with OW, I also see that he is trying to convert their R into a friendship. He no longer is pursuing her.

But.... it did throw me for a loop. I became anxious and called him long distance over repepetively. especially when his flight got delayed and he could not get D12 from where he left her - with a friend. He asked me to back off from being too controlling. I agreed to not keep on calling.

I had two more episodes of calling him up first this week and he has started getting annoyed with me.

I lost it today, and got mad at him too, as I did have a valid reason for calling (regarding child pick up, where he did not respond to my TM's and I needed to know). Just because i called several times, where his phone didn't even ring!

I HAVE got to back up....big time, I know, but it just really hurts. I almost feel like its better if we were not together.

I haven't cried in sometime but right now, over a stupid phone call, I am crumbling.