65 Days...

[Denver_2010]

I want you guys to know that I really do consider all of the advice that I receive here. But I understand why it seems that I will do what I'm going to do anyway. Ultimately, I am going to do what I think is best, that is true. But I do look for views on things that I may not be seeing.

With the anniversary text, I did, and do, see the viewpoint that it was pursuing behavior. I'm sure that it was.

Was it a tactical error? I don't know. I ultimately decided that nothing I proactively did regarding acknowledging the day was going to hurt my situation, but that NOT doing something COULD actually cause damage (W may have interpreted as me being the old Denver).

So that's why I ended up sending the text.

I honestly had not decided until I posted here and received most of the feedback that I did. And I didn't sent it until 8 p.m. east coast time (W is in Philly). So I really did put off making the call until as late as I could.

Could the text have been more simple and not as mushy? Sure. I suppose. I personally thought that it was pretty straight forward... but also heartfelt.

I do think that you guys are confused on the expectations that I had. I worded the text so as it did not call for a response. I didn't know whether W would respond or not... but expected that she would be too busy with her friends and might not. I decided I was okay with that.

When she did send her short response, I was actually really happy about it. It exceeded my expectations.

The comment about getting a little sad over the FB pictures that she posted was completely unrelated to the text re our anniversary. That would have gotten to me whether or not I sent that text message.

Starsky, you crossed out my line about sending the text being the 'right thing to do' and instead put that it would make me feel better.

I KNOW that I have been guilty of this in the past. I really do. But I honestly don't feel like that is why I did this. I honestly feel that it was truly the right thing to do.

But I also know that I'm going to continue to get beat up for not backing away and letting W pursue.

I think that I will move more in the direction that some of you are encouraging to move if July passes and there is no significant improvement in my sitch and/or W doesn't move significantly closer to committing to R the M.

It will be an interesting month. As I've said before, W and I have quite a bit planned (unless she has changed her mind in the past 2 weeks). W will again need to make a decision regarding her living arrangement as she has only extended her lease through July (that I know of). And, as far as I know, she has not looked at any other places to live since one fell through and didn't work out at the very beginning of June.

W is going to have to make some decisions. I will not be pressuring her to do anything one way or the other (I promise). I'm going to let life's own pressure cause her to decide what is best for her and her life at this time.

I'm really going to just focus on having fun with W, SS, and my D ... and focus on being the new more relaxed, more patient Denver. This will be challenging enough, bc having both kids here at the same time has always been stressful for both W and I.

Please hang in there with me all... I am going to need some support in July.

Thanks!!

Denver