Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Beatrice

My greatest regret, which I have repeatedly shared with life,

is that I wasted so much time trying to understand what was NOT understandable...I had been married for almost 25 years when h left
so I know what a gaping wound it makes. I felt I was missing an organ that was vital to living.

But after almost a year of this, I could endure no more

and I would do anything (other than suicide) to stop the pain....even change ME!

Focusing on external reasons for the pain I was in, under the guise of "trying to understand" and "getting closure" was NOT helpful.

Getting closure by asking WASs questions is an illusory endeavor we spin our wheels in.

Even if they answer, their answers cannot be trusted.



AMEN ^^^^^

It is a complete waste of time to ever expect them to give you the answers you need. You should be focused on your own puzzle of life. You are the one that has to live with you the rest of your life. This sounds worse than the way I mean it...but F**K them. YOU can only control you.

Your closure at this point comes from within. You just have to accept that you may NEVER get the answers you seek.(I still have unanswered questions, but I really don't care anymore) However, you can come to an educated guess/opinion as to why; and accept the fact that your happiness and future does NOT revolve around them.