Hi all I wanted to send a quick introduction. I have been reading here for some time and really have learned a lot already from you all.
I have been M 18 yrs and T 20 with 2 children. We separated 5 years into marriage when H had an EA turned PA. We were separated for 1 year and I filed for divorce. Just as that was about to be finalized, we reconciled.
In recent years, we have been having some issues. H has an issue with alcohol and substances and it has recently escalated (mainly the alcohol). When he is not quite himself he makes very poor choices and has put me in situations that I am not comfortable in. I recently put my foot down in the beginning of this year and he has not put me in those situations any longer.
In recent months we have had quite heated arguments and sadly our kids have heard some of them (they are teenagers). I told him that we can't have that, and he agreed fully. When I asked for counseling he declined and said he does not believe in it at all.
Since reading parts of the book and also reading here, I have made some changes and realizations this week especially.
I have stopped talking about the R and trying to GAL. When making plans and GAL angered him, I wasn't sure what to do. He actually said that he needed to make sure it was "even" and every time I do something, he will too. It feels like a MLC but sadly I thought the PA was that, do we get two MLC's in life?
So reading here is enlightening. I plan to make changes for me and the kids, and learn as much as I can.
I can honestly say that in reading here I am also learning where I have been at fault and really trying to make a conscious effort on my end to change that as well.
Looking forward to getting to know you all and reading more
