I understand that, and the confusion you are feeling. My W bottled her feelings, frustrations and pain and we never got to the heart of our problems.

But I've found that talking about the R or M is useless right now. Each time we do, I can sense my W pulling away, so I've stopped all conversations except those that are absolutely necessary.

Your W is in a world of confusion & fear, but she needs to find her own way out of it, and that may not happen for a long time. Regarding the presence of an OM, that's something else you have no control over. Our W's are looking for someone to soothe their pain, and it's not us.

H 56
W 48
D27,S21
SS25
SS22 Severely autistic
M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs.
"I've never loved you" 3/7/2011
Separated 8/7/2011
BITS