Cadet, I would respectfully slightly disagree with you on whether it matters where Eric has been: if you offer advice to people they have a perfect right to ask nicely what your background is.
For example there are posters here who have reconciled after a couple of years [and that is great] but some then urge others who have waited longer than that not to do so. It is important that we know their sitch: what we advise others is usually what worked for us, or, what we learned from doing it wrong. Either is good, but there us a difference. If i am taking advice i want to know if they have actually walked a path like mine, or a different one . . . and what they learned
Beatrice
I saw this earlier and have been trying to think of the right words to say. IMHO whether we save our marriage or not has a lot to do with luck. You can be the best DB'er and do everything exactly right and you still may not save your marriage.
Or I have seen cases where someone did everything wrong but their MLC'er came back to them. The MLC'er does have FREE WILL and can choose what they want to do. We have no control of that.
So I for one would never tell some one to stop standing. I believe in that 1000% and probably to a fault. But on the same token, we must go on living our lives as if they are NOT coming back. So it is easy to see how you could get confused.
Eric gave out great advice to MLC World. No matter whether his marriage is reconciled or not. It is good advice. I stand by what I said that it does not matter where Eric has been or where he is going. Eric has made great strides in his life and if you read all 188 pages you know that.
All our marriages were over at Bomb Drop and the only real question is who we will have a new relationship with. Our spouses, someone else, but the most important person is with ourselves.
I would agree with the people that are advising that we need to get on with our lives. That does not mean that we may not reconcile with our spouses some day. At this time we have no control over that. And some day, the MLC'er will have no control over what WE decide.
