still lost and still searching 2

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I am worn out by all of this. I am playing the middle man to keep her in everyones lives, not just my kids, but her entire family.

I'd give that part up. It's wearing you down too fast.

It's like a bridge she is in process of destorying, and your out there making repairs to it, a losing battle and its costing you parts of yourself.

If/When the time comes for her to repair that bridge, then help.

I came to that decision with my wife, I wouldn't accept being around my friends and family when they wanted to blast her, but I didn't try to include her in any events either.

Did my sons suffer for her not being around? Her choice, and trying to get her around was painful and upsetting to me and just awkward all around. I saw it as a form of control, I couldn't MAKE her be a good mother, but I could still be a good father who just happened to be doing alot of the Motherly stuff too.

MIL, my family and friends? I would just say, Its easy to walk in someone elses shoes hypothtically and say what you would do differently. Usually shut them up.