Starsky - Thank You! I felt like people would take it as me demeaning the event or trying to excuse it. I'm not. I'm just trying to get people to understand my confusion about everything. I don't think lack of penile penetration really makes a difference. I also should have mentioned again that she was passed out on pain killers, sleeping pills, and I think alcohol when it occurred. It started innocently enough, with me crawling into bed with her and caressing her. Then..she didn't react and then..I tried harder, honestly believing she was just sleeping.....and then I lost it and I was rough and the act became out violence and anger, not love and sexuality.
At the risk of 25 punching the crap out of me...I think she's using that night as a means to justify all her actions and as the reason to not come home. She has been in live with 2 men for years and never wanted to have to make a choice. Only now, that they went open with her relationship, has she had to do so....and that event is the trump card in not choosing me.
