Don't know where I am

[XYZ]

I know your pain. I went through this exact process 2 months ago. Let me tell you how it went for me. You can decide what that means to you.

* I told W that if she couldn't work on M, then I couldn't stay
* I moved out.
* I lost all hope that my M would make it.
* Losing hope meant that I had to develop a new vision of the future.
* So I dated. I don't recommend this BTW. But if proved to me that I would not die alone. There are TONS of women that want you. I promise. Tons.
* I stopped dating once I relized that (a) life would be fine without W. Not what I wanted, but fine and (b) I really didn't want to date yet.
* I stopped contacting W at all except for kids.
* My actions reflected that I was "done" - I called W on crap behavior and stopped taking her crap just for the sake of peace.
* I reconnected with friends and enjoyed having some me time for the first time in a decade.
* I acted happy any time I was around her, mainly because I was starting to BE happy again.

All that is fine, but you know what the key was? I really, honestly, got the point where I knew I'd be ok either way. How many times have you read that here? I'd seen it a million times and I'd tried it before, but just as you said something snapped in you last night, it snapped in me one night too, but a different snap. I would be ok no matter what.

Once that happened, my whole attitude changed. And very quickly so did she.

Don't know if that'll happen for you. Don't even know if it'll continue to happen for me, but those are the facts.