Trust is simply something that has to be there ... even now... If I can't or don't trust W, and vice versa, then there is no point in continuing to fight for this M.
COMPLETELY disagree, Denver.
This is one of those phrases that always SOUNDS good, but it really makes no logical sense. There can easily be certain periods of time -- based upon recently-past or current behaviors -- where we don't trust a spouse, or one of our children. Trust must be re-earned, over time.
Does that mean that "continuing in the marriage makes no sense" during those times?
Try to think of your wife as being in a period of emotional (and even physiological, since relationships with new and other people can be highly addictive) weakness right now. Those of us who advocate "Trust, but verify" are NOT advocating that you need to take that stance forever. I would agree with you, that if you ALWAYS had to maintain this stance, it wouldn't be any marriage that I would want to be a part of, but during, say, a one-year period where I was desperately fighting to save my marriage, and divorce-bust? Sure.
