4 months........

[Very Confused]

DG, I used to be a habitual cell phone record checker and email snooper. It was constant, all day. I would check them at work, I kept my laptop open at all times with everything pulled up. I was a slave to all of it. If I found phone numbers I didn't recognize, I would call the number and then hang up just to see who answered. To sum it up, I had a huge problem. Sometimes I would confront him about texting a certain number more than I cared for and he would always have an explanation. I even woke him up one night before he moved out to question him about something. This was the nail in my coffin. I have since learned that by me waking him up that night, he felt that I could never change and decided to sign the lease to his apartment. I failed at DB and I paid for it.

Then my husband moved out and changed all of his passwords. He transferred his cell phone to an account of his own. At first when I couldn't check everything, it felt like someone cut off my arm. Then I felt...FREE. Free from obsessing, checking, having my world revolve around numbers on a screen. As funny as it sounds, it wasn't until my access was cut off that I could finally take a good look at what kind of wife I was to my husband. I didn't like what I saw in the mirror and now I have really started working on "me". DB has been paying off, in baby steps, but I am going to continue doing what works.

I know that this probably too long, but I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly what it feels like to NEED to look at the phone records. Life is so much better not looking at them. I promise.

Take care.