I hope I dont sound too pathethic but today is day 3 of not "stalking" OW. By stalking I dont mean Im following her around or anything as bad as that. I had been googling her at least once a day. Stupid and pathetic I know! Im terribly ashamed to admit it. It gives me no pleasure or reassurance. Just makes me angry and hurt. Hence the reason I have stopped.
This morning she came into my thoughts as I was riding the train to work. I felt really down about myself. Like I couldnt compare. She is smarter, has talents, freedom and perhaps more fun than I am? As you can see I am feeling low today.
I have not heard from H since our last email exchange, where he did not reply to me. Im glad in a way. We are meant to be going out tonight as a "family". But I dont know that I have the "PMA" to withstand it.
I keep thinking that he is having such a great time with OW. He has his own place, hes getting his dream job, he has no responsibility other than to look after S3 one night a week.
I have so many wonderful people around me. They are all rallying around me and their support is endless. Yet I still feel sad and alone. I miss my H terribly. I miss his touch and affection. And I wonder does he still love me, does he ever miss me?
W - 31 H - 33 Married - 7 years Together - 10 yrs Kids - S 3yrs old Separated - 27/03/11 OW - 10/04/11
