You KNow 2step, I almost feel sorry for your wife. This was an obvious attempt to initiate contact without sounding like she was. But any excuse. I mean , really, did she need to send this?
Not to plant seeds 2step, but I am confident that her life is NOT going the way she thought it would with OM. She cant replace the 2step I have grown to know here.
Despite your shortcomings in the M, Im sure she does think about what could have been with the new 2step but you have mentioned that she has a tremendous amount of pride.
Isnt that something. So much silly pride that will take her down and prevent her from living a potentially wonderful life.
Im glad you were strong enough not to reply. I dont either 2step because really, my wife uses the children to contact everyday but they are not to be used as pawns. God love the WAS cause no one else will.
Keep fighting the good fight buddy, I got your back as do all the BITS and wise people on this board.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I did not respond because I am on a conference call. About 3 minutes later I get this text
X: Did you change ur number LOL anyways was just wondering..I have been working a lot. Hope things are good with you
My tentative response was
M: I did not change my number, I am good. D will be there in July. Why?
Keep in mind this is the person that has not called D once since Easter and when D called her a few weeks back because she missed her from her cell phone X never responded and never called back.
This hurt my D and I am skeptical to let her even see her. At this point I am trying to protect my D more than anything.
I don't think this has anything to do with me I really think she will try to see D while she is in OK but I think she is really just clueless to the pain and devastation she caused not only in my life but in my D.
Anyways I decided to post this so that I can get some feed back before I responded. I want to keep it civil but still I have the desire to lash out and tell her to leave me the fk alone already and leave my D alone if she cared so much she would have made a better effort to stay in contact with her. Instead she NEVER calls her, now does not answer her calls, and blocked her on FB.
Why is she texting????? WTF does she want???
I've had a rough week emotionaly this week but a response is in order I think.
"D has been through a lot with everything that has happened. In the best interest of D, I don't feel like it is a good idea for her to see you."
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
If you sent anything else, I would not finish it or put anywhere in it, a question. Give her information, not an opportunity for conversation.
Unless it's what you want...
But you will get conversation if you indicate that you are concerned about your D and how you feel she is hurt by your X.
Before denying your X access to your D, I would talk to your D and try to dig how she feels, without putting her into a position where she feels she needs to communicate with X, if she does not want to.
No response 2Step. Your W does not deserve to know anything about your D right now. JMO.
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I've had a rough week emotionaly this week but a response is in order I think.
You don't know and you might never know. If I was to put my mind-reading helmet on she probably feels twinges of guilt and to alleviate some of that guilt she is doing THIS to "feel" better.
She also might be doing this because she WANTS to talk to you. She could be doing this to get under your skin. Hell, she could be doing this because she lost a bet or she was dared. My point is your divorced, separate States, and NOT together...you don't have to do anything.
I have heard from you where you stand on this and how you will continue to move forward without her. How can you move forward if you still feel obligated to respond?
If you decide you have to respond, well then harness your irritation first and make it brief; and do not open to additional conversation. She needs to feel your loss. If she knows she can talk to you all the time, then she will not have the opportunity to look within. She needs to understand YOU are NOT there.
All the replies are valid, including Denver's non reply. I think maybe letting her understand that your daughter is hurt by the noncontact may be worthwhile. That way W knows you are trying to protect daughter and not being punative towards wife.
JMO .
But I agree with others, less contact the better.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
If you decide you have to respond, well then harness your irritation first and make it brief; and do not open to additional conversation. She needs to feel your loss. If she knows she can talk to you all the time, then she will not have the opportunity to look within. She needs to understand YOU are NOT there.
I'd like to retract my original post about the simple text. I agree with Denver and Faith. What Faith posted ^^^ makes sense.
Don't respond.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I want to keep it civil but still I have the desire to lash out and tell her to leave me the fk alone already and leave my D alone if she cared so much she would have made a better effort to stay in contact with her. Instead she NEVER calls her, now does not answer her calls, and blocked her on FB.
If you choose to respond AND let her into your D's life. Then she needs to know that she will have to be for the duration of your D's life. She needs to be able to have open contact and not pull the underlined $h!t on your D again. If she can't or will not commit to that then it's in your best interest to keep your D out of this and CLEARLY tell your Ex to honor your wishes on what's best for YOUR Daughter. That's my opinion.
