Update: He called me on sunday night and said all the right things. I listened and told him that I will not manage his sobriety, He needs to do it as he sees fit (I learned that in alanon).
He said he has sat and talked with his parents about quiting drinking and that his mom was so happy that she started to cry.
He said he wants to do M counseling.
Then on monday, he came by to take a quick walk with the dog and I when I got home from alanon. He was sweet. Bought me a necklace. I talked a lot about alanon and how it has helped me and that I will still be going to my meetings. He said, that is ok and he does not want to get in the way of my healing.
He said to me that he realizes that its either: Beer or Tipper and that he choses Tipper. He said he has drank for 17 years and that he is willing and wants to try something new. He said he is bored of the bar scene, its the same thing every night. I agreed with him. He took the A.A. book I offered him in the past and said he would be willing to read it. He offered to go to meetings but said he knows he would be uncomfortable with it and didnt like the one that he did go to a few months ago with a buddy of his. I said its up to you how you go about your recovery, but sobriety is the only answer for us.
I am going to alanon tonight and I am going to get together with him briefly after that to discuss things more and to ask him about the M counseling thing.
I am really afraid, of all your above real life stories. I really hope that he is not just saying things to get me back and then to go back to drinking down the road. I am afraid to push him away too much, but I know that I need to set some boundaries. I want to give him a chance and I hope you will all support me. Isnt this forum here to save M's rather than say: he's hopeless, move on! I mean this in a questionably nice way!
Alanon peeps said last night. Go slow, dont loose your own recovery/healing, keep going to meetings, keep lovingly detatched in case that he slips, but give him a chance to do recovery his own way, and watch for progress.
I will not let him move back in till I see months of progress. I will not jump back in the sack with him right away. I will not loose my friends and family events and meetings,and activities that I do. However, I know I want to give him a shot. Our M is worth it. TIPPER
