One foot out the door, the other on a rug....

[luvmyhubby]

Well today was it.. He came in this morning and told me he was going to see a lawyer. I lost it!
he was supposed to be thinking about things.. He said that he hit on other women this weekend and I didnt deserve that.

He is trying to just give me the house and take his company so that I would be left with the burdeon. He wants to walk away.. he said that when he comes to the house and sees me his stomach hurts for all of the bad feelings I cause in him.

How can he forget all that I have done for him? I sacrificed so much for his company and his wants and needs and he doesnt see a dang thing!

I begged for counseling AGAIN for a while and told him that he was really really hurting the kids. of course no good..
It seems i have no backbone when i get hit with things..

I just cannot hold on anymore.. it seems when I think i do good by letting go it isnt as much as i thought.
it hurts worse.. How can I let him make me feel so worthless and like such a failure?

He wants us to agree on everything so we dont have to pay lawyers, which is smart.. however i keep getting pushed to take half of his company too..

My fight is all gone it seems..I just friggin give up.. God has to have some plan that I am better off.. I just wish my faith was stronger today..