2Step - I see you as one of the most amazing posters here, so I will really take your words to heart, like those of 25. I have read the exchange over and over and now I see just how maniupulative it was. I am even starting to understand why STBX says I was controlling in our marriage when I felt I wasnt.
All these years later, and I still have not really changed. I have only made surface changes that I thought I needed. Not the ones I really truly needed to make. I have so far to go yet.
I will share a texversation from today. I actually did something just for her today and sent her financial details now rather than waiting, like I intended to do - just for control.
M: Good morning. I just emailed financial stuff to your AOL address.
STBX: (after reading email) - Yesterday you said September (to finalize everything). Now it's end of oct and that likely means more like the end of the year.
M: It could work by September - if the house is valued a little higher. It can definitely be befoe the end of the year. Right now I just need to know if the overall concept and amounts work for you.
STBX: Yes.
M: Ok. I will do my best to make things go quickly as possible because I understand it will bring closure to you and all of us to have the divorce finalized. I'm glad we are not arguing over money like others do. Enjoy your day.
Well.....I think that exchange was decent. I am going to see family doctor today and get sleeping pills and ask about going back on anti-depressant. I haven't taken a sleeping pill in a while, but need them occasionally and likely will when I visit my friend in Calgary next week. I was on a version of Prozac for a very short time just before the separation, but took myself off it. I think I need it now to calm my mind and help me act from reasoning rather than emotions.
