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Journaling....

Well BIL never called last night. He probably got involved with his daughter at her party. Which is ok. It's raining and really windy today so doesn't look like I'll be able to go to the park to try to get some exercise today. No contact with my wife at all yesterday outside of the few minutes that she came over.

My mom emailed me last night. My dad has gone back into the hospital so I will be trying to make my way up there today. She's really upset. They found out one leg has to come off as soon as they get the infection under control. She said she went to their church and they asked her about the situation with my dad and she told them. She said they acted like they didn't care and just went to talking amongst themselves. She said she just thought it was really rude after he was their pastor for 10 years. She's really struggling to make the bills.

Just feels like the stress and depression around me is just getting suffocatingly thick. Eventually something has got to break.

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BIL called me earlier. He asked me to come over so I did. Watched TV with him and his daughter for awhile. Went with him to rent a movie. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hollows....yay (sarcasm)but it was something to do and got out of the house for a little bit. They are doing renovations around my apartment starting today so it was really annoying around here.

Then it got close to 3:30 and my BIL said he was just Im'ing with my wife on facebook and apparently he mentioned to her that I was here so she was freaking out a little bit. From what he told me was that she told him her ride had to leave early today so she was getting a ride home with one of her guy friends and was worried it was going to start an argument. I told him if it's just a friend no problem. I didn't start anything I just went on acting happy. She did tell me after my BIL left to take his daughter home that her usual ride had to leave early today so she got a ride home with one of the team leads in the back area. No idea if it's true or not and I didn't press the issue. I just went ahead and acted happy and left very soon after my BIL did.

I did see when she got out of the guys truck though and didn't see anything funny. Just trying not to think on it too much because I'll drive myself nuts trying to figure out if she was being honest or not.

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She seems really happy though to be living with her brother and having all this "freedom"


Do you know why that is?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2163950 06/27/11 11:22 PM
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Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
She seems really happy though to be living with her brother and having all this "freedom"


Do you know why that is?


Not really. My guess is because she's not around me? Either that or it's because she's exploring her "freedom" At the time of the separation she wanted to spend more time with friends supposedly. Which I've never stopped her from doing anyways.

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However it should be noted that I was never too fond of her staying the night. Which I think I would have been more okay with it if she had at least let me meet her friends. I guess though this may be more about me than anything else.

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argh! the panic button just keeps getting pressed repeatedly. her brother text me to say my wife posted I just wanted to say thanks to all of those standing by my side I couldn't do this without you I've told him I don't need to know everything that goes on in her life but I guess it's as he's said before she is still my wife and I should know what's going on. I realize shouldn't believe half of what I hear but still it does make me think she is very determined to carry this through. The noose is tightening. Next month is approaching way too fast

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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
She seems really happy though to be living with her brother and having all this "freedom"


Do you know why that is?


Not really. My guess is because she's not around me?


I believe it is b/c she has the freedom she wants and b/c she still has you in her back pocket.

What would be a big 180 that would cause her to realize she can't have it both ways? You come with the M.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 #2163967 06/28/11 12:14 AM
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Originally Posted By: sandi2

What would be a big 180 that would cause her to realize she can't have it both ways? You come with the M.



If I stepped out of the picture altogether probably. Right now she can still come to me if she needs me but if I'm not there she has no one really to turn to outside of her brother and these new friends of hers.

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Nothing like waking up to the sound of construction work being done. Gees they are getting started way too early on the renovations. Another job interview today too. Guess I could go ahead and get a walk in this morning.

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I think you need to tell your BIL to stop giving you info on your W.
It certainly doesn't help you feel better, it makes you feel worse.


"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
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