4 months........

[Telemark]

"You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
You have made some great strides, and when you come out the other side, you will be a better man for having gone through it.

Keep your chin up."

You sent this to me yesterday, DG. I'm bouncing it back to you (change "better man" to "better woman", of course...)

I don't know - yet - what it is like to be physically separated from your spouse, but I am sure it comes with its own world of hurting, and I admire you, and everyone else here, who is dealing with that situation. If I have learned anything here, it is to assume nothing regarding our spouses' behaviors. Your H is in a whirlwind of confusion; he doesn't have a clue in his clue box as to what he wants or who he is, and the only thing consistent about his words and actions will be their inconsistency.

Try to think "beyond" your H. Picture yourself as the person you want to be: strong, resilient and independent. See your good friends around you, loving you just because you are you. Imagine the things you want to do, places you want to go, improvements you want to make to yourself I have made a deliberate decision to keep my mind focused on the "me" without my W. It ain't easy...but it is, IMHO, the only way you and I and anyone else here will get through this with our sanity and self-esteem intact.

Let's agree to let our spouses stew in their own juices, and not let their misery keep us from moving forward.