I like hanging up, but TELLING them you're going to hang up, so you are still the calm, in-control one:
"OK, that's just rude and disrespectful, and I value myself way too much to listen to that. I'm going to hang up now. Goodnight."
And then hang up.
I agree with this. The particular verbiage is less important than the state in which it is delivered. If you can do so without fear or anger, you will show her strength.
However, if you were at a point in which you felt you were unable to deliver the message without fear or anger, hanging up without a word is better than saying something you will regret.
