WAS has struck again ...

[Shane5665]

Thanks Hoswald, I know I will be ok. I have a lot of life to live. However, knowing I will continue my life without her in it is a hard pill to swallow. It has been 7 days since I posted the above stitch. Yes, I've cooled down a bit since. Good thing is I have both my kids with me. Unfortunately they haven't seen WAS in 2 weeks. Unlike the 1st time she walked away, I'm not going to push her into seeing the kids. That is something she is going to have to do on her own. I'm trying to be strong for them. They see me hurting and I know I can't hide it all the time. S tells me the other night " Dad sometimes I think killing someone would be better for them than cheating on them" "Why would you say something like that S" I replied. "Well at least if you were dead you wouldn't hurt like we are"

What could I have said in reply to that comment? Ugh, WAS told me the kids would be fine and that people get divorces all the time. I just don't think she understands the impact of her actions or doesn't want to. You're right hoswald, something has taken possession of her. I don't know this person whom I have called my wife for the past 18yrs.

I know I cannot continue living this way. Funny thing is I'm afraid of myself. I keep thinking to myself "What if she came back today" It scares me to think I would let her back into our home. I know I can't do that for the sake of my kids and I's sanity.

I have had no contact with her in 2 weeks and I will not be the one to break the silence. I just feel lost as to how to handle the contact when it does come. I guessing I'll have to do a 180. Not for her mind ya, but for me. I can't sound bitter or that I hurting. I must be short in my replies and not veer into R talk.

I just can't understand how someone could do this to others. There is no good answer to that question I know. However, nothing justifies adultery .... Nothing