I like hanging up, but TELLING them you're going to hang up, so you are still the calm, in-control one:
"OK, that's just rude and disrespectful, and I value myself way too much to listen to that. I'm going to hang up now. Goodnight."
And then hang up.
I agree with this. The particular verbiage is less important than the state in which it is delivered. If you can do so without fear or anger, you will show her strength.
However, if you were at a point in which you felt you were unable to deliver the message without fear or anger, hanging up without a word is better than saying something you will regret.
From the sound of your posts LITB, I believe you will be able to do so calmly, if the situation arises again.
As Bond said, the action is an attempt to deliver the message in which your W will best understand. It is not that doing so will make them understand it this way, only what may be the best information for them to come to this conclusion.
Do we do something to make the S think or do something? No.
However, it seems to me, constructing our actions in such a way that our S can understand, is useful.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
