25 ;.. No way!! I respect the time and effort you put into analyzing my post. Thank-you.
Got to read it more closely though. No contradiction, just comes across bad in email form. That's why I said "by most accounts", if one were only looking at the surface of the sitch at the time. I have spent the time to look at myself and strive for improvement. Most changes have to do with my attitude. I continue to work at this each and every day.
As for the OM, really don't focus on him. He's a pretty sad loser, stoner guy, but still rather a funny person. 45-years old and still lives with his aunt & uncle. This is why he is but a symptom and not a cause of our sitch. I don't concern myself with him whatsoever.
Sadly, as for the kids, it was them who found out about the affair before me and it had a pretty profound negative impact on them. They overheard W on the phone and read her texts with OM. It all blew up on one day in my W's face and the kids have stuck near me ever since. It's not been a topic of discussion. They are 13 & 17-year old, smart girls. Taught right from wrong by their parents, and they are old enough to think for themselves. They need their mom and I am supportive. However, it is her peace to make with them. That's not my responsibility.
Big D is on hold for now. In fact, it has been dismissed while we clean up some investments that a D filing would mess up. Could take 8 to 12 months to finish. Then, her plan is to refile the D papers. Her choice, and hers alone.
MLC or not? Really? You be the judge. Starts working out incessently last fall, loses 30 lbs. New wardrobe. Very young fashions for her age. Even makes her D's laugh at her outfits. Starts going out to with "new" friends during week until late in the night. Drinking a lot. Finds a new "gay" friend, but turns out he's the OM. Starts smoking pot. Says I'm controlling and maniuputing and wants her independence, never to marry again, and wants to live the single life. Leaves me and the daughters. Fails to answer most of the phone calls and texts for 2 months. Heard enough? Textbook MLC. Yet things continue to evolve and get better between us. The difference? My attitude. I don't fight it. I accept it and all that has happened.
She had a good marraige. We had a good marraige. Perfect? No way. This person was never belittled or abused. We had a great time over the years, but as you know, things can get stale over time, so this is where my faults start to come in. I really don't blame her in some ways for running. However, she sees how good I am with our daughters and know she respects me for it. I am their rock. The biggest change has been in my interactions with her since this all went down. I no longer judge her, but support her decisions. I understand what she's in the midst of and stay positive ALL the time. It works wonders and we are getting along fine.
Much appreciate all your insights 25. This is no fun, but I accept my part in its making and resolve to be the best I can for me and the girls. If W takes notice, all the better. Even if we don't stay M in the long run. I choose our R to be healthy from here forward, no matter the recent past and no matter the eventual outcome.
