By the way. I see your tag line "be happy or be right".
How would you counsel a person who's spouse is not sorry or remorseful for the affair and states, quite clearly, "I'm sorry you got hurt, but I'm not sorry for the affair, I did nothing wrong"?
--Theoden
I assume you're referring to your sitch? If so, I will have to read your thread
but off the top of my head I still say you let it go.
Not to reconcile,
but to live free of the weight of past hurts. If you were abused as a child
and I was
you have to do the same thing. Otherwise we are permanent victims.
Those who insist on being "right" are usually, at least partly responsible for the demise of their m.
why do I say this? B/C their attitude reflects a lot of what they were like before' the affair.
Dogmatic, self righteous, critical, judgemental, harsh, even mean.
In SOME cases,
the LBSer more or less pushed their spouse into the arms of OP.
For instance, I know a w who sexually rejected her h for over 3 YEARS and was told by her h, that he was "lonely in the m" and had unmet needs AND
she did nothing...basically told him to tough it out...
he met OW and she was warm and loving...
When w found out about the A she was furious and wounded...until she finally looked in the mirror...
I don't condone her h. But I UNDERSTAND HIS CHOICE...
for me, it is NOT the same as
long term deceit and pretense that all is well and the marriage is fine.
Does this make sense to you? I don't mean to make everything subjective
but to me, somethings are simply not black and white.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
