How things change in one day. Yesterday I posted still thinking I wanted STBX to come back and wondering if there was any hope. And now, well, I think (hope!) I have finally come to my senses.
Yesterday I called my Mom to confess to her the terrible thing I did to STBX about 3 years ago. To my surprise my Mom said she already knew because my sister told her. This would be a sister I have not talked to in at least 5 years who used to work with STBX and OM/Boss until they fired her. Way back then she, like others tried to warn me about their relationship. As always, I chose to ignore and go on. Eventually, I stopped talking to that sister and my whole extended family to protect my core family.
Anyway, after hearing that from my Mom, I spoke with that sister. She told me that years ago STBX told lots of people at the restaurant that I had raped her, when I hadn't at all. She also told me she saw STBX and OM/Boss naked together in a lake at a company picnic event. She also said STBX often was no where near the building when she was supposedly at work. On more than one occasion the two of them left the building with a bottle of wine from the bar. That another time, STBX pinned a male employee against the wall and kissed him. She has shown her breasts to "everyone".
I have mentioned earlier about the "baby, baby, baby I miss you" email I found that STBX sent him while we were on a family vacation. One time when she came home from a business trip that he was on, I found a bottle of lube and a wine opener in her bag. There have been other signs as well.
Anyway, today I finally admitted to myself that STBX has been having a full blown affair with him for years. Probably as many as 9 years! The truth is that I have always known, but refused to admit it.
I have not told STBX any of this, of course. She would only continue to deny even though she and he are now openly involved and planning on buying a house together. In fact, today I texted her and continued to be the nice guy. I will likely share some of that textversation later.
Bottom line - I have finally realized how much better off I am without the woman she has become in my life. I actually still love and care for her, but that may never go away. The weird part is that I think she still feels the same way about me. She has literally been in love with 2 men for years. He can have her.
It's nice to finally come out of the fog. I will post the textversation later.
