At the beginning of my journey

[Lonely Room]

Hi JustBombed,

I'm living a similar situation to yours, although my wife and I are currently separated. Give him space and time. From what I understood about my wife, she accumulated feelings to such a point that when she told me those words I was probably the last person in the world that she wanted next to her... And probably still am.

Every contact with you, every connection, every time he hears your name, he'll be reminded how he feels about you. There might be guilt, he might feel sorrow, but the feeling that's driving him right now is the lack of being IN love, that emptiness they feel in their hearts. Something that we don't understand but that it's so strong that makes your life partner say those words and act that way.

I my case, my wife told me those words 2 weeks after my mum (the only close family I have) was diagnosed with an advanced cancer. That contributed even more for my shock, as I was already in a very debilitated position. But it also contributed for the first glimpse I had of what was behind my wife's actions: "My wife is a decent person: if she took those actions in a time like this, it's because she has very strong, huge, reasons."

From that point on I started seeing our marriage from two perspectives. It opened my eyes and also gave me a totally different approach to restore my wife's love and save our marriage.

Hope this helps, be strong.