We do not live close by any more. I moved to somewhere new during my divorce, and he lives in two locations - one where we were very happy in our later married life and one where we lived just after we were married - go figure that one!
I tend to agree about him not knowing where to find safe ground - as you know I got a fairly crazy and very mean one, although it has to be said he never asked for the kitty litter tray or a plastic easter egg!
There are several signs of him realising he has screwed up, but I am watching the actions and will try and really listen to any talk. So far it is emails with me. Which is one reason why I think the phone call to son was partly an excuse: he thought it would be just son and me, and since it is my house I would naturally answer the phone, except that I was in the garden so his gf picked up for me. I think that threw him hearing an unfamiiliar voice that was clearly at home. He doesn't know gf, who is lovely.
