I have to say that today is just one of those days; I am feeling quite broken down to say the least.

I am not sure how to get through these feelings sometimes. As much as I try to keep my head up and stay positive; it is very difficult at times. I have so much trouble comprehending how someone who showed me so much love and affection just over a year and a half ago can now be so cold and distant now. It’s surreal!

How did I allow things to get to this point? I know that I am not 100% responsible for where we our relationship is today, but I still feel like I could have prevented so much of this.

It is so difficult to detach when part of my introspect allowed me to truly see how much love, affection and devotion I have for my W. The fact that I can visualize such a bright future us does not make this any easier.

I know that I need to focus on the bright future I see for myself and my boys, but sometimes I tend to regress. You would think that after a year I would be past this…

Sometimes I guess I’m not as strong as I think I am.

M 38
W 32
T 11
M 2
SS 14
S 9
ILYBNILWY March/2010
EA found out Oct 2010
PA found out Jan 2011
living together alone