Nearly 5 years but who is counting?

[missmyfriend]

@Dawn, first please do not apologize for speaking about yourself and your situation. I care more than you realize about all of the people that have been "left behind" either physically, emotionally or both by their spouse.

Regarding forgiving your husband, don't be so hard on yourself. The forgiveness is required by God according to many pieces of scripture where the person has asked us to forgive them. But what about the situations where people have not only not asked for forgiveness but continue to hurt us? Even if we forgive that person, the debt is still owed to God until they ask Him for forgiveness(according to scripture). Forgiving others who don't seek forgiveness doesn't necessarily make one a doormat. I don't agree with taking the martyr route. I cannot find anything in scripture that supports intentionally subjecting oneself to undeserved punishment. Now there are cases where God has instructed those to go into a situation where the outcome will not be good but the situation was to accomplish in God's will.

Dawn, you are dealing with so much that no one else can tell you how you should handle your situations or that you have to forgive him or the OW until you feel, in your heart, that God is encouraging that action. Believe me, I have to start all over again, frequently, for issues that have happened to me.

The one thing that I realize is when I have been able to sincerely forgive my wife for something that she did or said, I feel much better as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I notice that I treat others much kinder.