been a while...

[25yearsmlc]

It has been a while scince i have posted and over a year since i found aout about wife and OM.

So sorry to hear this^^^. I know It hurts.

still cannot forgive....if not for my kids this would have been over that day.

some might say that me giving forgiveness will set me free to move forward, i say it only is accepting the humiliation of being cheated on.

Then you do not understand forgiveness, my friend. I have posted elsewhere on this very topic. It's the biggest lesson I got from DBing. It does free YOU, not her.

It has very little to do with the person being forgiven; they don't even have to know.

You are confusing forgiveness with, among other things, with condoning behavior that is not acceptable...or trusting it won't happen again...

You are confusing forgiveness with loss of self respect

and or with being a doormat. Again, my friend, you are mistaken.

It takes strength to do what I call forgiving...it's a weak person who holds onto their pain and lets it fester and rot to make them into a bitter person...not a bEtter person, a bItter person...

Please read about this elsewhere or if you prefer, I'll cut and paste what I've written to others about this. It is key to YOUR happiness.


Yes, I believe with certainty, that YOU cannot be happy or loving again, without You letting it go.

IF you hold onto it, you are self inflicting pain in your life, you are carrying around the weight of your pain on a daily basis,

modelling for your children that a blow to your ego is an emotionally fatal blow and an eternal blow that never ends...

b/c you cannot heal without letting this go.

So THAT part is on YOU.

i did want to say thanks to those who helped me through the dark days of discovery. it was comforting to know i was not alone, over the past year i have realized it even more....so many unfaithful people out there with no morals or family values.

What I got from this site is that there are so many people I've never met, &will likely never meet, and am not paying or benefitting in any way,

who are nonetheless willing to take hours of their time to help me in my hour of need.
I learned that Forgiveness actually is a gift I give myself,

but that it is also a process that takes time and insight, which I lacked before...

If it were not for the people I "met" here, especially some of the men,

who showed me the way that men can see things and how full a man's heart can be,

and how loyal and loving...

my m would not have survived. I will take from this site almost universally good things...


anyhow, felt i owed a little update to those of you that were there lending advice.

Gman

Can you try to want to want to forgive?

Can you open your mind to the possibility that it will free you?

Can you accept the possibility that maybe,

just maybe

your version of forgiveness is a flawed one?


I hope you will at some point, b/c we are not lying when we all tell you this.

((( )))