65 Days...

[Denver_2010]

Just realized that I need to begin a new thread... Figure that my anniversary would be a good day to do it.

I just posted this on my last thread... but want to repost here:

I am a little down today. It is my anniversary. W and I have both stuck to the no contact thing for the past several days. I have not heard from her since she sent a text message to her mom, her sis and me on Thursday evening, and haven't spoken to her since Wednesday night.

My mind has certainly tried to play its tricks on me. I have no evidence that W is doing anything other than what she told me that she was going to do. In fact, pictures on her facebook account seem to confirm everything... of course pictures on FB can never account for every minute of a person's day.

Since last speaking with W, I have been to the gym every day except for Saturday. I went out for drinks with some friends on Saturday night and had a good time. And I've gotten a little work done, which is good.

I have found myself thinking a lot about my hurt in what has happened over the past couple of months. I find that I have a lot of anger towards my W when I really think about it. There have been a couple of times when I've actually thought to myself that I may not be able to ever let that go. Basically, it comes down to be extremely disappointed in my W for not being stronger about being able to be alone and for not taking our S as a time to work on herself as I feel that I have.

I do think that it is necessary for me to be processing this stuff.

I also know that I want to forgive W ... and I still want to have a happy M with her. I know that IF that happens, that, someday, all of the trash from the past 7 months will be nothing but a blip in the story of our lives. This is what I hold on to.

Like I said, today is our anniversary. I'm not sure whether or not I should send W a text or something to at least acknowledge it.

I would appreciate some thoughts on that...

thanks
Denver