By dead man walking, I mean failing to realize or accept the magnitude of the situation. Of course I'm in control of my own actions, and cannot control my W. I think I've got that figured out by now. Ironically, part of DB / 180s, etc. is impacting change in your S through your own behaviour. In essence, this is an attempt to nuance or control / steer an undesirable situation in a desirable direction.
Truer words were never spoken about us making MLC worse. However, I disagree in that I feel we can make our S's MLC better by being more accepting of the situation. A lot better in fact. Mine has for sure.
One of the common traits of all us LBS's is that we are most all loyal to the core. I AM a good parent to my children and that is why they chose to stay with me. I'm stable, loving, give them wise counsel and support, and show them how to act as responsible human beings. My kids are smart and they are already forming their new relationship with their mom. It is up to them and I do not stand in the way. They are in family counseling with her to try and sort this out, but mostly it is time that all 3 need to form their new relationship. The kids know that they are loved by both of us, and that's all that matters.
As far as MLC taking time. No kidding. I think I get that already. If my W just wanted to stay in separation limbo for a few years, I'd actually by OK with that. But she wants the D, so I must accept this as part of the MLC process. I have bought some precious time recently, so we shall see and hope for the best. But this I can assure you, when the D finally occurs. I will move on. I will always treasure our years together, but it would be unhealthy to live in the past considering that she has already gone on to a whole new life. Strangly, I admire those who continue to stand long beyond their D, but admit I don't quite understand. Part of healing is accepting, and I will accept my sitch and continue to make the best of my new life. Both in the here and now, and later if and when my D finally does occur.
Much appreciate your time to consider my situation.
