Can My Marriage Be Saved?

[a girl]

Had a hard time tonight. Had to leave for groceries to have some time to calm down. Cried in the bedroom a bit too, but I think he didn't notice. Which is good - no crying around him if I can help it.

We're refinancing our house - it makes sense regardless of if we stay together, but its hard not to see it as another nail in the "leaving" coffin. Tonight I took all the money out of our "Paris 2012" account to help pay for the refi. It was supposed to be a combo 10th anniversary/40 birthday for him. Hit me kinda hard. Not really sure what, if anything, to say. Thought if he asked I'd just say that, but worry I'll cry. Anyway.

Have been trying not to "follow" him. He's been preoccupied with Warcraft tonight. Told him S seems to be missing him and had asked to be tucked in, so he's off to do that. He asked me if I want to finish a movie we've been watching after his shower. I said "I'd love to!", which is a bit more than my usual "sure, sounds fun", but not sure if he noticed.

Anyway, feeling a bit adrift and sad. Keep telling myself it's a marathon, not a sprint, but any words of advice would be welcome. Next step for me is to post my goals for feedback. Struggling with those a bit.