Dazed and confused...

[lstincali22]

I have to say that today has been a pretty good day. Spent the day relaxing at home it was a little odd because my W was here all day as well and it gets a little uncomfortable at time.

The low point of the day is when I got home from church my W was in the bedroom cleaning out her side of the closet, she hasn't gone to church with us for some time now and today she said she was going to the 11:30 am service.
Well, when I got home I told her that our pastor had a great sermon and that I highly recommend it she flew off the handle a bit telling me that I was so good at giving advice and that I should just keep it to myself, I said ok and I walked away.

I wasn't trying to give any type of advice just some small talk about the sermon I thought she was going to hear 20 minute later turns out she decided not to go.

Later in the day, I took the time to try and talk to her and she was open to it. I told her that this is a pretty uncomfortable situation that we are in; I said I would like to do what I could to make it a bit more comfortable for her. She told me she would appreciate it if I stopped telling her what to do, she say it really feels as if I’m judging her when I do.

I was a bit taken aside because I don't believe that I'm even coming close to telling her what to do, I asked for an example of what she meant and she brought up the Church conversation from earlier, she said she felt as if I was telling her that she needed to go to church. Man, I wish it was easier to understand what my W hears. I by no means was even thinking about telling her to go, I thought she was already going!
I told her that I understood and I will be much more conscience of how I communicated to her.

She then actually asked me what she could do to make it more comfortable for me; I let her know that I had no request at this time. She said," are you sure you don't want me to stop being a bi!!ch? That really caught me off guard. I told her that if she felt that that was how she was treating me than it may be a good idea to stop and let the conversation end there.

SS14 was away at a church retreat and when we picked him up S9,W and I sat there listening to the stories he had from the trip, Later in the day he had baseball practice and W decided to go along with us, I spent the time playing with S9 and she joined in a couple of times, so that was good. It's amazing that when people who have known us for years see us all together they find it so difficult to believe that we are having issues. I guess do a good job at hiding our issues.

Other than the one incident, it's been a pretty good day, I hope it's the start of a good week.