I guess the only thing that I wonder about is this: doesnt my H have to hit rock bottom before the fog lifts? How will that work if I am in contact with him and he continues to see OW? Wont he be having the best of both worlds? 25 I would love to hear your thoughts on this?
Hey Red
I guess the thing is, you will have the focus back on you. It won't matter to you what world your H is living in. You will be DETACHED.
What's to say you can't have the best of both worlds too ... live your life like he's not coming back, consider where you are at when he does.
Remember a couple of weeks ago, you didn't know if you wanted to be with him. That was when the energy switched between you and he could tell he was losing you. That's when he started to come around. That's the place you need to be.
Girl, this isn't going to happen overnight. Your H needs to work through some pretty serious stuff. Love him enough to give him the space to do that. Trust him and God that he'll learn what he needs to learn throughout this process ... and in the mean time - LIVE YOUR LIFE. IT'S THE ONLY ONE YOU'VE GOT.
You have 1 or 2 opportunities for spending time with him each week. So make the most of those few hours each week ... but don't live FOR that time. Fill up the rest of your life. Do things you love to do. Reconnect with the world around you. Put your relationship with this wandering, messed up husband of yours into perspective - while he's out there getting his head together - you've got time to rebuild yourself. This is not a dress rehersal. At the end of it all, do you think you'll be like, "thanks for that year I just hung around waiting for X to come home". Be the woman you want to be.
Of course you should be kind and loving to him in all your interactions ... but you'll have a whole lot of livin' going on in your life apart from him ... and that will make you a better woman and a much better option.
Keep at it girl. ((hugs))
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
