Sorry to find you here. Its going to take time and patience, more than you could ever even imagine.
You are very lucky that he is still in the house with you. It allows you the opportunity for him to see the new you. Make sure you go and GAL and start the 180s asap.
If you didn't get the books yet, get them, read them again and again.
I hope you are one of the lucky ones too.
H:41 W:44 D1:19 D2:17 S:13 D3:7 T:20 M:18 Bomb:1/5/11 Sep:2/18/11 No D filed yet; just threats