My faith gives me the courage to move forward

[Starsky309]

rys-

I read often, but I haven't been posting lately. I have extemely little time, but I care about you.

I so believe in miracles, and I experience them all throughout my life.

What God NEVER does is get in the way of someone's free will. Your husband and this woman will ALWAYS have free choice.

The second thing I learned about miracles--you have to get out of the way of God. And you aren't doing that. You're in the way. I've done the same thing, and I recognize it.

DB is one of your miracles here. Your DB coach. Your DB friends. MOST of the advice you have been given is encouraging, and showing you how to go about this.

Posting and praying only don't do it. They just don't. You aren't DBing and you tell God....I want you to do this and I want you to do this MY way. THEY are the sinners, and I want you to turn it around.

Ask God to soften YOUR heart. To show YOU how to extend HIS mercy. And I promise you HE has already answered this. Bond et al....have really been God's messengers to you.


We like you, we care about you.

Rys,

This ^^^ is a wise and powerful post. And I say that as someone who doesn't always (or even often) agree with sg. The fact that so many different posters, from so many different backgrounds and perspectives, are all telling you the same thing (in a few different styles and ways) . . .

. . . should tell you something.

I pray you're listening.


Starsky

[rysmom]

I worked for my h business while we were m. we owned a health club for 10 yrs, and an environmental co. he own now i did the office work from home. i was going to college for MRI tech. til last mo. but dropped the algebra class 2 wks a go because teacher was not good and i wasnt getting it. im taking it again in sept. with prof. i had 2 semesters ago that was a good teacher.
I went to my sisters with my son this weekend and had a nice visit. I got home on time to go to orientation at animal shelter. I signed up to start tomorrow, there were about 25 people there i couldnt believe the turn out. i was nervous going but i went. Most of the dogs were pit bulls, but i can help with the cats too.
Ive been looking on a dating site lately and it does not bring me any peace of mind. I would only consider dating someone that puts God first in their life and there are not many of them on that site. I know im not ready for that anyway.

[rysmom]

I wanted to thank all of you for your time and effort posting on my thread. I know i have to work on being more proactive. I dont know what else i should do with m situation now. the only way to protect my assets is to file D in my state . is that what you are all saying i should do?

[rysmom]

Thanks very much for you post. I think of this story often of the heartache this woman has endured.
I know it seems like there were many things about h that i did not like, but there were many things i loved about him too. He was a good provider, ambitious, smart, funny (the funniest person i ever knew), outgoing, strong, mechanical, generous, artistic, masculine and kind.

[rysmom]

Yesterday would have been our 23 Anniversary. It was the most beautiful weather June 25, 1988, when we got married.

[25yearsmlc]

I wanted to thank all of you for your time and effort posting on my thread. I know i have to work on being more proactive. I dont know what else i should do with m situation now. the only way to protect my assets is to file D in my state . is that what you are all saying i should do?

1) I would accept that for now & the forseeable future,

your h has chosen OW over you

NOT b/c I agree with it or condone it

but b/c that is the truth for now, it's reality, AND

b/c then you won't keep resisting, b/c what we resist, persists

and your h won't keep justifying it in his head/heart. He'll have the space

to question his choices once you stop attacking them.

2) I would NOT contact h at all. Your son is old enough to speak for himself so there's no reason for you to contact your h.

3) I would get a job to support myself so that I could support myself!

4) I would drop any and all interest in OW or what she is doing with h

5) I would focus solely on being the best woman I could be.


6) I would Get A life

7) I would empower myself in all my choices; never a victim.

I'd exercise MY free will and choose to be happy regardless of

what someone else (h) does with HIS life

8) I would take charge of my life and be an upbeat, happy optimistic person who casts no stones.

9) I would become a woman only a fool would leave.

Then, I would leave the results up to God.

[rysmom]

Thank you. I am going to make a copy of this and hang it up where i can read it often.

The one thing that concerns me is that h has a rental property that he has to sell, it's in short sale, i dont know if this will effect the d settlement if it comes to that, Im not on the mortgage loan or deed though. Do you know the legal ramnifications of this? L said since im not on mortgage its not my responsibility.

[rysmom]

i went to my sisters this past weekend 2 and a half hrs away. she is a nurse,she works on her own right now caring for people at their homes. She asked me to come with her to a patients home, the lady has MS. We went to her house she is 58 yrs old and bedriddien, she uses a electric wheelchair to get around.Her house was not very clean, and she has a pit bull dog that lives with her. she use to be very active and now she is like this. It was very sad and i felt grateful that i have my health when we left. She doesnt live close to me or i would visit her.

[25yearsmlc]

Thank you. I am going to make a copy of this and hang it up where i can read it often.

The one thing that concerns me is that h has a rental property that he has to sell, it's in short sale, i dont know if this will effect the d settlement if it comes to that, Im not on the mortgage loan or deed though. Do you know the legal ramnifications of this? L said since im not on mortgage its not my responsibility.

If your L said that, then I would accept that. I can't give legal advice here anyhow.

And I don't know your state, etc.

But as I said, if the L is yours (not h's) and saw the necessary documents or you know them well enough

that's it from a legal standpoint.

The problem is financial, not legal. A short sale will decrease the amount of property owned as assets

and that decreases your share. The more HE spends, or loses,

the less YOU & son get.

[rysmom]

House has no value anyway, it was a wash. i told him it was a bad investment when h bought it. He never respected my opinion when it came to large purchases.