Its my life

[GAL Man]

Part 3

After W left I went up to my brothers, after 2 hrs get a call from W, so I left it. Picked up vm to call her regarding S12.

Now S12 wants to stay at mine (home) and not go to W’s, and had used D14 key to come home

Call was something like this (lasted about 20 min) Again I was cool and spoke softly

W – Why does S12 not want to come around and stay at mine, I’m not happy about that
M – Well he told me he feels uncomfortable at yours and feels left out
W – Why, because I have no xbox live
M – No, as you seem to do more with D14, she has sleepovers and he has nothing
W – I only have 1 TV
M – I know, but he feels you push him out. Do you know he calls me or comes around to see me most days, and calls when I am out to say that he has been around
W – I know
M – Do you know he called me last Tue and was under his bed, he sounded like he had been crying and said he had been on the stairs for half hour as well
W – I heard him on the phone to you
M – Well when kids are with me, you don’t call S12 at all, just D14 (W hasn’t called him all week)
W – I do try and call him but he never answers
M – No, he told me he has no missed calls from u, how do you think he feels, he is 12
W – I will call him more

I then told W about the argument D14 and S12 had earlier in the week, and explained constructively some concerns I had regarding kids when at W’s. She said she was going to make more effort. I stated again that I just want the best for the kids and for them to decide, and that W is their mum and they should also spend time with her also. I also mentioned about the arguing with D14 (nothing about the swearing, shouting and other stuff I am concerned over at this stage)

General chat

M – You need to do things with the kids
W – Like you do?, taking them bowling etc etc, I cannot afford that, its like you are the great dad doing things with them and I don’t. I don’t have the money.
M – I am sorry you feel that way, but I have realised a lot over the past few weeks, that I had become someone I didn’t like, and will not be that person again. I am not trying to do anything but enjoy my life esp with the kids
W – (something like the new you again)
M - Yep
M - My kids (W say our kids, which I apologise) are the most important thing to me.
M – You don’t have to do things that cost money (I give some examples)
M – We have a routine now, shopping and Starbucks Monday, Tue Bowling, Wed rest, Thur home cooking, Fri sleepover with snacks and board games and then things on Sat and Sunday lunch at friends pub. You are more than welcome to join us bowling on Tuesdays
W – Ohh, OK

W – I don’t have any board games for the sleepovers
M – W!!!!

More general chat

M – So what is happening for D14 (14th) Birthday on Tue (D14 is in a school play at the local theatre all day till 9pm) Why don’t we do something after
W – That’s a good idea, I will ask D14
W – No she won’t be out till late
M – What about Wed
W – D14 is going to a party
M – OK, what about we all go bowling next week for her birthday if that is what D14 would like
W – I will ask her, yep she says that would be great
M – OK, even though it’s a week late if that’s what D14 wants to do then great

W asks to speak to S12 to confirm he is OK and that he wants to stay with me for 3 days and go to W’s at the end of the week for 3 days, then they are back with me again. W tells S12 that she loves him etc etc

Passes phone back to me

W then starts to tell me about parties she has been invited to but cannot afford to go, then about how busy she is at work, where she will be working the next couple of weeks etc. More general chit chat. W says it would be good if we could do those things (i.e. bowling night) and get along and if am I OK with that.

W says thanks and will speak to me in the week!