The BIG D and its Path of Destruction

[Denver_2010]

I have a lot to update, but don't have much time. I'll post the meat of it.

I did let my W know that my L filed some papers and the kids will be staying with me until the hearing. I asked her if my L could call her to arrange getting them to her. She agreed, however she called back to ask if it can wait until she hires counsel to be done between the lawyers. Of course I agreed.

She still doesn’t see how a judge will award me custody. She said, “we are going to go through out this and I’m still probably going to end up with the kids”.

My L just sent me a TM and said that we will have to serve her at work or home. Ugh!! Craziness.

After a convo where she tried to guilt me about the same things as before, she wanted to tell the kids. She wanted to tell them that they aren't coming to NM, it wasn't her choice and we are getting a divorce. I told her that I wasn’t going to let that happen. Also, that it isn’t right or fair that she wants to throw me under the bus. The reason she wanted to do that is because she doesn’t want to kids to feel like she doesn’t want them.

I told her that I never threw her under the bus and that it was her decision to tear our family apart.

She agreed to let me do the talking while letting the kids know. This is what I said, “Mommy and daddy have something to tell you. Some things have come up and you guys will be staying with me for awhile longer. When mommy and daddy can get everything worked out, we will let you know. In the meantime, mommy and daddy love you both very much and we will make sure that you are taken care of.”

They took it well. My D8 was disappointed that she isn’t going to be seeing her cousins. And she asked this question.

“Mommy, why did you move to NM?”

My W asked me to answer the question.

“Sometimes just like kids, adults don’t get along. Unlike kids, adults have a harder time forgetting things. So right now mommy and daddy are having a timeout.”

The kids got over it quite quickly. Within a couple of minutes they were talking about getting a Wii or and Xbox. Not sure where they came up with that, as I do not have either.

Anyway, I gotta run.

Hey LB. I think that you handled that tremendously well. It made me really sad reading about the conversation that you and your W had with the kids. But it was done about as well as it could have been done.

I agree with 25. You really want to make sure that you are comfortable with this attorney that you have. I'm not saying that she is bad. How did you find her? A referral? Referrals are always nice because that means that you know someone who has worked with the attorney before and obviously liked him/her.

Does she practice family law exclusively? I'd be cautious about using an attorney who does not specialize.

25 is right, you control your case. So be sure to tell your attorney how you want the case handled. Fighting for custody does not have to be done in a nasty way... although it can become necessary.

I have no idea why your W is so confident that she will end up with the children. I'm not a family law attorney, but as 25 has already said, the standard is the 'best interest' of the children. Stability is a huge factor in that. So you having the kids now, where they are accustomed to being, where their friends are, where they go to school, where their bedrooms are... well, that's stability. Moving them across the country is NOT.

My guess is that she has heard that bc he is the mom that she has the upper hand with this. Generally, I'd say that that is true... but not in this particular scenario. She left... and she left them with you... at THEIR home.

Unless there is something that you haven't told us, I see you having a VERY good chance of getting them... but then again, I'm not the judge.

Keep conducting yourself as you are LB and you will be fine.

Good luck.

BITS
Denver