don't they already talk about the yelling and the behaviors anyhow?
and since you have no control over it...who cares? It's easy for me to say but I do believe in the Serenity prayer and letting go of that over which
I have no control.
Besides, when you come out of this on the other side,
and they see you as a healthier happier woman,
let them talk then.
As for your son, surely he has seen the downside of the M himself.
Please don't assume he has all positive images of your M, and no negatives,
and that all his new views will be negative and none positive.
It's not that clear cut.
It's interesting which words were recalled by your h and how.
We all have our own camera lens with which we see our R's...
Hang in there. You will survive this.
And though many military families do collapse under the weight of the moves and the stresses
of long deployments and the fears that go with it
many survive intact and are close.
Maybe it's because we have only ourselves to hang with in each new environment.
It happens.
Have you ever thought of trying to find your daughter?
Not saying you have to crash her gates and jump into her life,
but to simply know she is fine...?
Might be therapeutic.
We're all rooting for you
Thanks 25, I appreciate your response.
I was originally trying to say that I wasn't worried about people talking. I dealt with that a long time ago and have never looked back. I was the whistle-blower at my last job, and I had to deal with it then as well, but it wasn't as difficult as I expected as I had learned not to worry about it when I gave up our daughter.
I was worried about retaining my composure in my shop when people talked to ME. The shop is a happy place, and generally a place where people come to ME for advice, and I was worried about losing my composure, crying, and not being able to stop. It's important to me that people enjoy their experience in the shop, not have to comfort me. I think I can handle it. I surprised myself today when H left, and I got in the tub to let the tears rip, and they didn't come. That doesn't mean they won't come later! But I'm in more control over myself than I thought I was...
No, I haven't thought about looking for our daughter. I won't until I am either alone, and recovered from this r, or in a good place with H. I can't deal with both at the same time. Making that decision is going to open a lot of repressed pain and guilt. H or our son can both register at any time. They don't need me to initiate it. Our son would like to meet her, and I have a feeling that the connection might start there one day.
I have a very strange story about multiple bizarre coincidences regarding the entire adoption process. That is for another day, but I have never worried about her since. If you knew the story, you would agree, she was never meant to be for us. She was meant to be with her adoptive parents.
