Please forgive me. In hindsight, I provided too much information in the previous post which has embarrassed Talk (W). She’s not to blame for my actions.
A short time ago, I went upstairs to speak with my W, who was in bed. She was lying down, void of energy because she's been dealing with me, not because she's lazy.
My response to her should have been "I'm sorry for draining your spirit, please forgive me. You stay in bed, relax, have a bath, whatever you want to do. I'm going to the store so I can fix a nice, home cooked meal".
I didn’t say that. I chose the “weak” path. I said things that made me feel good for a minute. After pestering my W for the morning, she finally told me to leave…..so I did. I got in my car, bought a coffee and then drove by the house where my vacant apartment is…I couldn’t stop. I was ashamed and embarrassed.
I’ve hurt my W, again. I’ve misquoted her on a very public forum, which was the one place she felt safe. My W is trying to run a business and doesn’t need the hassle of dealing with good-intentioned customers offering their advice.
W – I am so sorry for being a DICK. There’s no OW. I’m not having an affair of any sort, nor do I intend to in the future. I want us to work…..desperately, but I’m failing because I have no plan to move forward.
Here’s my plan; stay engaged in DB, stay in counseling, read, and research, be patient and respectful; finally, communicate with respect and love.
