He also told me that she is the one who helped him to come home (tho not her intention, I'm sure). She apparently told him that if he was going to divorce his wife he should just go and do it that he had to be causing me a tremendous amount of pain by doing nothing. But, she told him, be prepared to jump through hoops because your wife is going to make you walk the line in order to come back. He told me he didn't think I would make him jump through hoops and took a chance.
"Jump thru hoops"? No. "Healthy boundaries"? YES.
I'm concerned that by talking about his OW so openly with you, he is trying to get your tacit approval for his infidelity, Liz. He assuages his guilt, makes sure he still has you as his "Plan B," and then you have to endure the humiliation of having him talk about his girlfriend, right to your face.
I would rather see you, if he asks you "Do you still love me?" say something like "Yes, of course, but what you're doing right now isn't very attractive, and it's going to slowly kill my love for you. I hope you can see that, and make some better decisions before we lose what's left of our love and respect for each other" ... or something similar.
and
Quote:
He said she sent him a facebook message that she wanted to meet with him the next day when he got back but thinks she just wants a face to face with him to try to change his mind. I asked him flat out have you made your decision or will she be able to persuade you to change your mind and he told me there was nothing she could do to change his mind. I told him "Well, you're a grown man, and I can't make those decisions for you. But make no mistake, although I love you, I will not wait forever. Sounds like we BOTH have some important decisions to make, very soon."
