Well just took my wife back to her brother's. I let her borrow the car and she went and did a little shopping and picked herself up some groceries. I let her do that while I stayed here of course. Then we went out and got something to eat. Her idea. She stayed here a little while and we watched part of a movie before she decided she wanted to go home and lay down to watch some TV.
She talked about the bills over there. I worry if she will actually be able to keep up with them considering she had a hard time with what little bit of bills I gave her here to take care of and now it's a couple hundred dollars more over there. She seems pretty happy though.
We had no R or D talk at all. I acted happy during the time that she was here while inside dreaded having to take her back to her brothers. It does kind of bother me that she acts like there is nothing going on between us at all. It just really makes me wonder if she really cares at all. Which is a really odd feeling the few times that I go over there knocking on the door or when her brother brings her over and they knock on my door.
On the way to take her home she needed to stop by Wal-Mart again to get a new pillow because she said her's was flat. We walked by a display case of pillow for Transformers. She mentioned that we should go see Transformers 3 not next weekend but the weekend after. Not going to hold my breathe on it though. Got her back to her brothers and helped her carry her bags in. I probably could have stayed and hung out over there and wanted to but decided I should probably take off and let her do her own thing. She gave me a long hug and a quick kiss and I took off.
She said they have a meeting with their landlord on the 2nd about whether or not they can stay. She said if the landlord lets them stay with the addition of two more people (the guy and his gf) that the landlord will raise the rent $20 per person and they will be locked into the lease for a year.
The behaviors are kind of confusing to me. Old behaviors that seem commonplace when your around them. Like I was putting on my shoes and she came and slapped me on the butt. Or a hug and a kiss. Sure it can all be seen as just a friendly thing and I'm trying to view it that way but still it's confusing.
Went to the museum. Been awhile since I been there but I love some of the artwork they have. Especially some of the more simplistic looking ones. I don't know what it's actually called but I called it splatter paint. The ones that you look at it and it looks like the artist literally just threw paint on the canvas. There was one like that up there. The background was all black except for red paint that was "thrown" in the middle of it. I found myself staring at it for quite awhile. I thought it was a very interesting piece
I have to say I am abit concerned. her brother is trying to work things out with his wife but my wife says he stays up late talking to one of his ex's. his "white whale" as he calls her. he took his wife out to dinner tonight.
My wife has been texting me for the past few minutes now. She must be bored
He's going to have more than a mess on his hands if the two women discover what's going on. He may be to distracted with his own life to be bothered very much with his sister.
What happens when she's bored, texting you, and you don't answer?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
It's almost scary how much she has text me tonight. Sometimes I replied. Sometimes I didn't. We haven't talked this much since we separated. Not even really anything. Just idle chit chat mainly. Her brother wanting one of his friends to move back from Florida. Who's over visiting. What movie she was watching. Or like the one she just sent me I'm bored sitting over here. (brother's name) is on the phone and the computer.
Which I'm keeping most of the replies short in just a couple of words.
It's almost scary how much she has text me tonight. Sometimes I replied. Sometimes I didn't.
Which I'm keeping most of the replies short in just a couple of words.
Sounds to me like you're taking the right approach. You're laying and she's pursuing you. I think you need to continue to give her this distance / space.
Maybe but still it's kind of frustrating. I know she's still thinking divorce. One of her friends got a hold of me yesterday actually to find out what was going on because she had just told him yesterday that she was getting ready to file.
She ending up texting me till about 1am last night. So now it really won't surprise me if she decides not to text me for a few days. She seems really happy though to be living with her brother and having all this "freedom"
I'm getting ready to go for a jog now. It's only almost 7am and it's already starting to feel a little hot.
My wife and I talked quite a bit yesterday. We actually ended up talking till about 1 am. She would text me and I would sometimes reply back. She text me once and if I never said anything about 30 minutes later she would text again. We ended up talking off and on till about 1am. Not real sure why. First time she's actually text me that much since we got separated. Just trying to not make anything of it though. She seems really happy there and with her new "freedom"
I know she said she is going to be busy today. Her brother and her are going to be cleaning house today. She did though say her and her brother would probably be over at some point today.
I know when they talk to landlord this weekend that if the landlord agrees to let them stay they will be locked into a 1 year lease. Her brother will be pretty upset if for some reason she moved out. I know that is one thing she doesn't want to happen.
They were drinking last night after her brother got back from his dinner date with his wife. Which she barely drank anything. She said she only drank two "girly" drinks.
It's kind of odd to me. My FIL died two months after we got married. One of the things he asked me prior was to always take care of his daughter. He still sits on my bookshelf. I apologized to him last night asking him to relieve me of the burden of taking care of her because right now I can't do it. I didn't really expect to feel any different but I felt like I owed him an apology for not being able to do so. They weren't close which is one of the regrets she has. Her parents divorced when she was little but always remained friends.
I went for my jog at the park this morning. Got back showered and could hear the geese in full swing in the pond behind my apartment. So I grabbed a few slices of bread to go back there and feed. Gees that makes me sound old lol ...Anyways I walked to the backside of the pond to feed them and behind the bushes what do I see? Two teenagers who didn't waste anytime in the day to have sex. Could have at least put a blanket down for the poor girl. I coughed loudly and they scurried off. As much as I did not want to see that I couldn't help but be a little envious. I remember the days of being so young and carefree before you feel the sting of love's kiss.
I was browsing around on the internet a few minutes ago and came across a quote I want to get tattooed on me Life Is Just A Dream On The Way To Death I'm a tattoo nut I'm covered in them. Trouble is finding someplace to put it once I have the money.
Well my wife just left here. Her and her brother came over to shower. Me and my wife are getting to where we can be in the same room now without it just being really awkward. I doubt I will be talking to her anymore today. She said she was going to one of her friends house that lives near her job to stay the night when she gets back to her brothers. I simply told her to have a good time. She was pretty playful today as opposed to just a joke here and there. I am getting pretty good at being happy in her presence even if I'm not really. Finally got a small positive reaction from my wife today. Nothing big or anything to get too excited about. Which is usually when she leaves she just gives me a hug and a really quick kiss before she hurries out the door. Today though she wrapped her arms around me and looked me in the eyes for a few seconds before she kissed me. Nothing big and probably shouldn't be looking too much for any positive signs but I couldn't help but take note of it or maybe I'm just trying to find positive signs in her.
Since my wife isn't going to be at her brother's tonight he's supposed to call me later to come over. He's going to his daughter's birthday party in a little while. She is turning 13 today.
Her brother was saying he still has no idea what she's up to. He said that while it's not good for the marriage he's actually hoping we don't work things out just yet because he needs help with his bills. Which he apologized for being insensitive about it. He explained he is just looking at it from a bill perspective. I told him I understood. Which it did make me a little frustrated. I did though tell him again that while I appreciate his keeping me informed that I'm trying to move forward with my life and work on me. I didn't want to tell him that there's a plan at work here to try to get my wife back because I'm not real sure how much of what I say gets repeated.
I have though been reading another book as well trying to figure out other things I have done wrong. It's a book designed just for married couples still living together and building the foundation of marriage up a little more. Doesn't really deal with your marriage in a crisis situation. I have though seen a number of other things I have done wrong. I don't feel a need to mention them to my wife though at this point in time. I will though IF the day comes that she wants to work on our marriage. They are actually changes though that I do sincerely want to make as I do feel they would strengthen a marriage.
