Devastated

[25yearsmlc]

So, shouldn't he have come to her and expressed these concerns before it got to this point? I mean come on. NOw we have to mind read and if we don't do that once again WE the LBSers have failed. When do they take responsibility?

this site is not about fixing the WAS...it's about what WE can do to help our situations.

It's solution based, not blame based.


and SHE said SHE has intimacy issues, not him. He said he did not feel loved by her.

She's still defending that. How does making her 'right" help?

How is that requiring her to read his mind?

I asked her questions...waiting for answers

Sometimes We have to choose between being "right", or being happy.

There are people here who genuinely want to be declared "right" [i]--even if that prideful ego costs them the chance they have at saving a m.[/i]

The best news a person can get when they are in marital crisis and see a mc, is that

THEY are wrong or have a flaw that needs work. WHY?

B/C then they are not powerless...

then, they can DO SOMETHING to help their m.

I ask you again, is it better to be "right" or happy?


My h wronged me. Yep he sure did. True, I played a role but in the grand scheme of things, he wronged me. Most of my mistakes were in reaction to his wronging me...sooo


Was it irrepairable? I think not, since we recon and I feel closer to h than before.


So if I were to use your reasoning, I should have done...what?? Divorce him? Waited for the grand apology before working on ME??


Wait and wait...for [i]HIM to do or say[/i] what??

I grew from this experience and became a better partner. I'm glad about that

even though I wish it had occurred for other reasons.


If someone goes through this hellish nightmare and isn't a better person afterwards....


then THEY have made the situation worse.

My questions address that so regardless of what happens with their m, she will

be a better woman for it. Hopefully this will help her m.

How does making her H WRONG, help HER at all?