Good question. Problem is we represent a lot of stuff to our spouse that they are running from - responsibility, commitment, family ties. They are probably not aware of the neediness of the the OP at a conscious level - they are just happy to be able to 'take care' of someone else. But you are right, they don't want to take care of us.
The needy OP usually gets old eventually, but this takes quite a long time. There is nothing rational about MLC but it does have its own weird logic.
