In response to Denver's continued willingness and desire to keep trying, in the face of adversity:
"and this is ^^^ pretty much why I told my MC what I told him. I said I did not want to quit and he asked about whether that was fear of dating or being alone and I said "no. I have no fear of that and in fact, it's an upside if we divorce"..."
Nicely said, 25. I have had plenty of people tell me to move on. In many ways I have and am. I am not actively seeking to date, although I am not closed to the idea and I do go out with female friends and enjoy it and feel no guilt.
My W challenged me one day, suggesting that I was more interested or involved in being M, rather than it being about my W. I struggled with that. And about people suggesting that one should not stay married to be married or for the kids...
I thank you for sharing the above because that is very much what "for better AND worse" is really about.
I maintain that people are married for 25, 50, and more years not because there are no problems. It is because they are still married. A choice to remain married rather than to choose divorce during rough times.
If that means that a person has to hold to staying married for the M, or staying married for the kids, or staying married for security (financial or otherwise). So long as it is not harmful, then the "reason" (of the moment) is irrelevant to the end result of remaining married to the person that we love and chose to love "until death do us part".
It is simply a choice in that moment rather than a basis for the M. We choose a reason for the moment because we love our spouses. Or at the very least, we remember we loved our spouses and committed to that love. And we understand that once this moment passes, we will still love our spouse. So being "on the other side" M to our S, rather than D... well... the choice is clear to me...
You are a good man, 2step. Nothing is over until it is over and until then, everything can happen. Life is the journey, not the destination. It's fantastic!
