While we come here to save out marriages and do what we can to that end, there are all sorts of circumstances each as individual as we are, each with many similiarities.
One of the things that helped me the most as a noob was to see a wide spectrum of outcomes. If it had all been rainbows and faeries, I would not have believed it, and as such would not have had the privelidge of "meeting" people of such strength and integrity.
I believe it was Mencken who said (paraphrasing here) for every complex situation there's a simple solution, and it's wrong. There is nothing simple about any of this. We all struggle and take the road we think is best for us in that given moment.
I can't think of anyone that deserves happiness more, and it is heartening that you share it here. After all, happiness is what we find along the way, if we are wise enough to open our eyes to it.
Hey Grace, my friend. Thanks for your wise and kind words. Your opinion matters a great deal to me.
Hey Grr. Thanks so much for the prayers. I appreciate it. I can use all I can get.
And thanks for your good wishes.
He is a really good friend. As I've said, he lives two hours away and has some issues of his own. But, it is nice to spend a nice day out with someone who respects me and who makes me laugh.
So, I am just taking each day as it comes. And I am thankful for the moments of happiness I am blessed to have in between all the stuff I am dealing with.
B, Alright….you’ve heard all of the good luck, well wishes and warnings for the new “friendship” that you now have in front of you. I would not be me if I did not say to you this…..
“go for it girl….chit…get busy….have a blast…and I better hear the screams in CT”
ROTFLMAO….no seriously….
You will succeed in whatever it is that you decide to do and I do agree in taking it slow (lord know that I did NOT heed that advice).
I am sooo happy for you and I echo Mach’s comments….I will support whatever you decide to do in whatever way I can.
In terms of the finances, house, etc. It will all work it’s way out….just keep yourself and your eye open. Keep facing that fear B…..face it with the dignity that YOU have come to aspire in all of us.
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before I go all girly on you
OMG….did Cat post this ^^^^^…was that really Cat? (insert picture of Eric smiling)
Oh…and hey Grit…yes you do need to find the foo foo in you (insert another picture of Eric smiling).
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hiya Eric! Oh my - all the way in Connecticut? You do know I am going to be 52, right? Actually, when my legs work, I can rock things like a teenager - LOL!
We are taking it very slowly, really building a friendship. I know that I have learned from this journey that mutual respect is of utmost importance. I also know that I will not lose myself again.
It's funny to hear my friend talk about the Brooklyn he knew when I was 20. We both worked at a communications company. He was an installation technician. I designed the software for the new phone systems. We worked on 3 or 4 accounts together. I was already engaged to my xh.
My friend remembers way more than I do. But, he told me some stories about how I was one of the favorite designers of the technicians. I didnt know that. And he said what a good worked I was. That I worked hard and was very meticulous in my work. I knew that.
But, he told me how I was always myself. Very funny and straightforward. No game playing.
He remembers once when we were installing at a large legal company. And my contact was a big lawyer. He said the lawyer was really rude to all of us. Well, one day, all 5 feet of me had a meeting with this guy. I sat in a chair in front of his desk. He put his feet up in my face. Mind you, this was a Fortune 500 company. And there's my 20 year old self. My friend said he was passing by the door installing some phones. And he hears me say, "Excuse me, but can you please get your feet out of my face?" He said the lawyer stopped midsentence, and then looked at me and said, "Not too many people would have the nerve to say that to me". To which I responded, "Well, sorry but where I'm from, seeing the bottom of someone's shoes was usually done at a funeral." And with that the lawyer burst out laughing.
As he tells me these stories, I realize how small I allowed myself to become in my marriage. How I believed what my xh silently let me know - that I was not good enough, smart enough, capable enough.
I want that girl back completely. Oh man, she was a piece of work. A fearless, confident, funny girl with a huge heart and a great big laugh.
She has come back some, still has a way to go. But, that is the goal.
when my legs work, I can rock things like a teenager
I have NO doubt :)….Your a NYer!
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I want that girl back completely.
AND Back she will come….All it takes is commitment..and work.
See ya in August
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
If you don't know where you're headed, it's really hard to get there. 
